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Apparently they're not making Twinkies any

  • Apparently they're not making Twinkies any more. Well, you might as well just tell me the world's coming to an end because I don't want any part of a post-Twinkie life.

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  • Greg Rayburn, former CEO of Hostess Brands, Inc., contemplated his suicide note. He didn't really want to die. What he needed was a new lease of life, a new type of confection.

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  • Thankfully, Greg was offered a carers position at an aged home. The elderly did not care for confectionery but were very grateful for Greg's kindness, time and effort. Greg Rayburn

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  • made a little turn around of his own. As Mr. Rayburn massaged bedridden Mrs. Swanson, she confided in him that he reminded her of her son who used to deliver for Hostess long ago.

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  • He called himself the DIng Dong Master. Once at the Hostess Olympics in Shattsburg, PN, he'd eaten more ding dong's than anyone without barfing and won the title.

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  • He called himself the Ding Dong Master. He won the contest year after year and gained a half ton in the process. But Ding Dong Ditch had become a real bitch. Ding. Dong. Done.

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  • But the ding dong wasn't done. The ding dong had just begun! If ding is your thing then dong is all wrong. If dong twangs your thong then ding can go swing. Simple. The Master Ding

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  • Dong Doer dared to dream: "Dang! What I wouldn't do for a Ring Ding right about now!" He dreamt of chocolate cake doused in dark chocolate frosting and filled with cream

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  • liqueur.His wife woke up and saw dang Dong Doer clutching unreal Ring Dings in his sleep. She sent him from a prone position to a ninety-degree angle with a well placed fist to the

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