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Lentils, the limitless legume

  • Lentils, the limitless legume

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  • "OK, not bad" said Charly, "but does it really convey the nutritional powerhouse and flavor bonanza that lentils really are?" Bob, the chairperson of the Society for Lentil

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  • palooza, whapped his gavel."Order! Order!" Charly didn't realize he'd insulted the Lentilpaloozas with his comment. Bob held up his hands. "It is clear that Charly is a novice

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  • in the court of Lentilpaloozas. Bear in mind that this is a cross-cultural exchange. Let's explain the rules to him. Rule 1: do not talk about rules 2-33. Rule 34: There is

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  • Plenty of room for improvisation. Please, no throwing food across the kitchen and pretending you are Michael Jordan. Your mum is not there to clean up the mess. Rule 35:

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  • Always wipe and flush. Rule 36: Don't get caught lying. Rule 37: Double tie your shoes or wear loafers. Rule 38: Write your address on your hand in case you forget it. Rule 39:

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  • Always carry a handkerchief. Rule 40: Don't pick your nose with any sort of writing instrument. Rule 41: If it's Lynn, tell her I'm not home. Rule 42: Never mention Melissa around

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  • Melissa's husband, Homer, unless he's drunk. Rule 43: Never place expired condoms in the tip jar at Sonny's Bar and Grill. Rule 44: Don't watch wrestling on your phone at church.

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  • Rule 45: Don't stay out too late, especially not at some girl's place. Rule 46: Never place ANY sort of condom in the tip jar at Sonny's Bar and Grill. Rule 47: Don't

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  • be a jerk, but do pretend that you're one. Rule 48: Do not violate these rules, or you'll found yourself being an actual jerk. Okay, so, these are all I can do. Good luck, y'all!

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