“You know, that ship saved my life quite

“You know, that ship saved my life quite a few times. She’s the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy.” said the Captain of the Titanic. "Sir, that ship has not been in the water yet"

"Water? Where we're going, we don't need water." The Captain shook a mane of snow white Caucasian afro out of his helmet, and pressed a button on the Titanic's main console. Wings

extended from the hull of the boat and plasma jets from the stern. Capt. Crig was from Titan where seas of methane teamed with crystal Kraken. "Take us home Helmsman!" The Titanic

's crew dumped fuel overboard to stop before the Iceberg, per Capt. Crig's orders. His time on Titan left him horrified of natural phenomena. He wet himself whenever the Sun rose

possibly to mark his territory. Capt Crig was the jolliest captain. The crews from several ships near Titan had voted in a poll and Capt Crig had received the award. A party to

celebrate his jolliness went horribly awry, however, as the strippers revealed that they were, in fact, terrorbots in their customary fashion: by exploding. Dmitri wept as he

thought about how much it had cost to get in and left the scene of carnage forthwith. As he walked, he was aware of a terrorbot stalking him from the shadows. Her feather boa was

then also swooped down on the old homestead. Baba Tershenko scuttled out of the burning house screaming, her babushka awry. The terrorbot's laughter sounded like a million

chattering wind-up toys as his prime directive stimulated his reinforcement center. He capered about her threateningly. She bopped him with a soup ladle. He died. "I win" she said.