Andrea brushed the sand aside. Inside was

Andrea brushed the sand aside. Inside was a box, and inside the box was a stunning Egyptian amulet , from the reign of Hatshepsut if she wasn't mistaken. Compelled to put it on,

she then admired herself in the mirror. Hatshepsut's amulet sparkled gloriously against Andrea's chest. Her eyes narrowed. The final piece in her intricate plans for

world peace. Andrea had tirelessly campaigned for America to stop being the world police. Her efforts changed the aggressive nature of the government's foreign policy

and America became the world's mall cops. A legion of troops on Hover-Segways was sent to make sure no one in Europe was stealing stuff. "We're unarmed and clichédly overweight but

we're prepared to squash unarmed European shop-lifters to death if needs be & that requires heft." It was hard for European mallsters to keep up with the US mall cops' demands for

equal access to the restrooms, but we gave it the old college try. European mallsters were no match for the US mall cops.

In 2016, the US mall cops were better prepared, but got mistaken for Squirtles. Since they didn't know Pokemon Go, they were for the first time flustered and captured by players.

Mall Cop Command blamed bad intel. Pokemon Go had not been on their radar at all. The closest response protocol they had on hand was for a Flash Mob: Freeze. It was not up to the t

-oilet crew to control a frenzied mob, but they did their best, beating the overenthusiastic gamers about the heads with plungers and urinal cakes, until the Mall Cops arrived.