Dang it, right off I was stumped. 1) IS YOUR

Dang it, right off I was stumped. 1) IS YOUR AVERAGE RATIO OF FECES CONTACTED : HANDS WASHED, GREATER OR LESS THAN 5 : 1? What did

love have to do with it?" thought Tina. Her science instructor always brought love into a scientific discussion and that was an emotion. This was science. What the Hell.

Tina's science teacher then clarified:"Today, class, we are going to make Love Potion # 9. If you're successful, you can slip it into anyone's milk & they'll fall in love with you.

much as someone with such eyes can. Tina slumped into the corner as crowds gathered to gaze deep into her eyes. Chaz, the school's most popular person appeared and Tina's eyes

turned green with envy. Then they turned red with the devil's hell fire. Then she rammed her fist into Chaz's chest, ripped out his heart and flipped it over her left shoulder

where her dog Chico was waiting expectantly. The dog tore into the meaty, pulsing muscle with a relish that provoked a pang of jealousy in Chaz, as he slowly toppled to the floor.

Chaz had been to the Dogfood Grill and found he loved the food there. The elk burger was delicious. He ate there twice. Chico smelled the dog treats sold there. He too had some.

Too bad Chico and Chaz chose to dine at the Dogfood Grill on the night the chef forgot to wash his hands after using the bathroom and taking out the garbage. The two wound up at

the curb trying to explain the bodies of the 2 garbages that had been taken out. His mind made up to spare Chico, Chaz copped to the whole thing. He said Chico was a choirboy.