"We're toast," said the general. "How am

"We're toast," said the general. "How am I going to find a sign language negotiator for a deaf hostage-taker at this hour?" He raised fingers in peace, unaware that the translation

borg was floating near his head. His fingers hit the translation borg which threw off its balance servers and it whirled right into the deaf hostage-taker, exploding his head. Hero

dotus lamented he had once again disturbed the history of this timeline. Ever since the Timelord's had employed him to write a history of the universe, his clumsiness cause Herodot

us to move from Halicarnassus early in his boyhood to Mykonos, where he promptly forgot his dream of writing history and instead opened a frozen fig on a stick stand catering to

the usual Mykonos crowd. His frozen fruit on a stick stand expanded to frozen apples, grapefruit and water melon on a big stick. Franchises of the stand spread through the Cyclades

until they were as thick as the olive groves on Santorini. However, due to the collapsed Greek economy, the Frozen Fruit on a Stick franchisees encouraged interesting trades rather

than keeping the fruit to yourself to eat. Plus, the coldness of Frozen Fruit on a Stick made your teeth hurt to eat too fast. The Greek economy had other problems, however. Namely

the Troika, led secretly by Deanna Troi. Christine LaGarde harbored unrequited love for the empath-behind-the-curtain of the EU, as did Merkel, but a "menage-a-Troi" was out of the

. In the end, Troi abandoned his great mission. Perplexed and disillusioned, he returned to Shangri La, the land of his origins. He had to begin again. He had to fight.