The ocean breeze was soothing you as you

The ocean breeze was soothing you as you lifted another sack of fish into the boat. The elders were continuously warning you. Deadly storms were out there. "Ha! Just a hoax."

chily snatch up the plastic turds & woopie cushions. "You've ruined Poop Deck Pappy's birthday surprise!" But the best turd (the one with bottleflies) slips from your hands

And lands in the same bag as the rotted potatoes! The perfect place and you take the trash out. So ends the 85th birthday party on January 2, 2017.

Anyway, that's enough about that. Now something else I should probably tell yoy before we go any further is that

there is a peat-bog filled with piranhas about half a mile ahead. Don't ask me how they got there. Anyway, if you wear these you most likely won't lose your ankles." Our guide

handed us each a pair of steel jointed hip waders. As we stepped into the peat-bog we could hear the piranhas clanging into us from every angle. I started to freak out, but soon I

learned to relax and love the bombardment of frenzied fish. It was clear that the piranhas were hangry. I took pity on them and dropped my sack lunch into the murky bog water.

The piranhas snatched it up with vim and vigor and then leapt from the bog towards me. I jumped back in time to see them miss and get Mrs. Philpot instead. The police saw the whole

enchilada, resplendent upon her plate, covered in lettuce, tomatos, sour cream, and quacamole. One beat cop said it was like her glistening moist tortilla was beckoning him home.