If time is what keeps everything from happening

If time is what keeps everything from happening all at once, then time is also what's holding back progress. Thus, the most efficient way to make progress is to kill time. Example:

When I go to the restroom at work, I make sure to sit there for a while, just listening & occasionally observing whenever possible. Secrets are revealed, indiscretions experienced,

But how did I know he was working under cover you ask. Well, I'm a double agent, but mainly because I'm friends with Father Joe Handsy who knows the dirt on all the guys in town.

Father Joe Handsy was the town snitch. Legends say that he was there the night everyone was born. Just standing there, watching. Usually, he was singing some strange variant of

"Lucille" by Kenny Rogers. You know, a variation in 6/8 time or calypso style. Father Joe Handsy was the town snitch, it's true, but he'd lost his vocal cords in a nightmarish frea

k accident involving communion wine and sulphuric acid. He was known as 'Whispering Father Handsy' for both these reasons.

Whispering Father Handsy would reach for altar boys with trembling hands, trying to talk gently in that rasping whisper of his, his face a mask of crude reconstructive surgery, but

he was still beloved by his community. That all changed, however, when his addiction to

strawberry chocolates made him to round to fight villeins like he use to. The last time he tried he rolled into a brick wall. And that was why the city became overrun with crime.