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He was the president of the united states.

  • He was the president of the united states. He was supposed to command rooms. But what he really wanted to do was magic. He wanted to go into a press conference and say, "Ta-Da

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  • Sadam is now a Chimp named Bonzo. He will be my assistant for this press conference. Bonzo can you take this end of the rope. Bonzo. Hello Bonzo? Here is a banana. Now take this en

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  • Gaurde! I challenge you!" The chimp Bonzo, formerly known as Sadam is slapped in the face by my gloved hand. Now this is how you impress a confrence! We battle to the

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  • packed audience. Billed as 'The Darwin Challenge!' it was thumb-wrestling between Bonzo, AKA Sadam, and me. I knew I would win because my digits were opposable. But he had a trick

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  • of locking his tail around the closest pole. Unfortunately, in this case, I was the closest thing resembling a pole. "Bean" they had nicknamed me in college. High school was worse.

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  • There, I was known as "Aquafresh." And let me tell you, it had nothing to do with my teeth. If three pounds of cocaine and a toilet lid could talk of those high school nights,

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  • I probably would have been decapitated by a hungry, talking school potty than have contracted cholera. But back to ME. The reason my nickname "Aquafresh" was not about teeth was

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  • I had my dental license taken away several years ago. Society was not ready for my revolutionary motorized tooth replacements. I bugged whenever I was called Aquafresh and I'd cry

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  • bloody murder anytime someone wanted a free sample of my nanobot toothpaste. In fact, to this day, I still have no idea why I ever got into dentistry. Perhaps it was because

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  • I had a thing for bubblegum flavored toothpaste, maybe it's the free toothbrushes, or maybe...just maybe it's for the 'happy gas'...I'll never tell.

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