He was the president of the united states.

He was the president of the united states. He was supposed to command rooms. But what he really wanted to do was magic. He wanted to go into a press conference and say, "Ta-Da

Sadam is now a Chimp named Bonzo. He will be my assistant for this press conference. Bonzo can you take this end of the rope. Bonzo. Hello Bonzo? Here is a banana. Now take this en

Gaurde! I challenge you!" The chimp Bonzo, formerly known as Sadam is slapped in the face by my gloved hand. Now this is how you impress a confrence! We battle to the

of locking his tail around the closest pole. Unfortunately, in this case, I was the closest thing resembling a pole. "Bean" they had nicknamed me in college. High school was worse.

There, I was known as "Aquafresh." And let me tell you, it had nothing to do with my teeth. If three pounds of cocaine and a toilet lid could talk of those high school nights,

I probably would have been decapitated by a hungry, talking school potty than have contracted cholera. But back to ME. The reason my nickname "Aquafresh" was not about teeth was

I had my dental license taken away several years ago. Society was not ready for my revolutionary motorized tooth replacements. I bugged whenever I was called Aquafresh and I'd cry

bloody murder anytime someone wanted a free sample of my nanobot toothpaste. In fact, to this day, I still have no idea why I ever got into dentistry. Perhaps it was because

I had a thing for bubblegum flavored toothpaste, maybe it's the free toothbrushes, or maybe...just maybe it's for the 'happy gas'...I'll never tell.