Christmas shopping ideas for my spouse: undersized
Christmas shopping ideas for my spouse: undersized green bikini briefs with a red bow around my 'package'? Surprise minivaction to local hotel with wellness pampering for two?7
Or...a gift card? My wife would love a Walmart gift card. Nothing says "Merry Christmas Darling" better than a Walmart gift card, right? I could still give her my package too.8
But that cost money. Hmmm... How 'bout discount coupons for an oil change? Our car could use a tune-up this winter and my wife would see how thrifty I am! Christmas gifts are so6
-cially accepted means by which to tell your spouse how you really feel about them. Maybe a weekend getaway trip would be safer after all. I fired up my computer and searched for7
a trip to the Tower of London. I booked the Renewal of Vows package at the church there - at the very altar where 2 of Henry VIII's beheaded wives were buried in unmarked graves.9
I stared at the unmarked graves in silence, pondering what to do next... then it hit me! I needed to3
dig a little deeper to unearth the source of the sound of this silence. I took a sip of my Zombie cocktail. Another epiphany! If someone gave me a hand we could put our brains toge6
ther in a punch bowl with some electrodes and nanosprinkles and REALLY have a party. But the scene was full of deadbeats and losers, shuffling around, bumping into things, dropping8
their DNA encrusted bits onto the floor, and sneezing them into the air. I had to hold a poodle to my face just to escape the encroaching didactic pungency of the room. That is whe6
n the poodle let loose of its opinion of the whole matter in great whooping gusts that culminated in me cackling and spraying the room with scatological canid wit.4
- 2014-12-15 13:00:18
- 2014-12-25 08:43:00
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lucielucie Dec 26 2014 @ 14:21
My fold was based on a true story. We were taking the tour of the Tower of London and we were in the church there. The Beefeater was telling us that the beheaded bodies of 3 executed queens were buried under the altar. 2 x wives of Henry VIII whose marriages ended badly & another one. Plus the bodies of 2 Catholic saints are buried in the walls in 'unknown locations'. Anyway the church was full of flowers & he explained that it was perk of the job that beefeaters' families got to get married in the church & one was taking place that day. It's the Last Place on Earth anyone would choose to get married surely.
zxvasdf Dec 26 2014 @ 15:28
Well, maybe it's a spiritual thing. Probably a bit pink of me to say this but, y'know, it's like saying vows there would ward off potential beheadings in the marriage.
BlastedHeath Dec 27 2014 @ 14:04
Cool story, lucielucie!
lucielucie Dec 29 2014 @ 07:00