So the Wal-Mart truck eased off onto a frontage

So the Wal-Mart truck eased off onto a frontage road in the pre-dawn light. The driver parked. Opened the trailer. Unloaded a duffel and threw it in the ditch. A severed head

of cabbage.The Wal-Mart truck driver slashed til dawn.When everyone awoke, they saw freshly severed heads of cabbage in every ditch in town.The town panicked-it was happening again

went the artichokes, followed by the carrots, then it was the mushrooms (which are a vegetable even if they are biologically categorised as a funghi), then the largest of all, the

Enormous Turnip! They pulled and pulled and pulled but it wouldn't pop out. They asked a mouse to help & yes! it popped out. Then the recriminations started. No-one was prepared to

explain how the turnip'd turned up, or who had even planted it. It was then they all turned to find Martha Stewart grinning down upon them in the garden, leaning against her ho.

"That's right, we did it" Martha Stewart said proudly. "And we'd do it ten times more" said her scantily clad ho Sugar Jackson. Just then the turn'd up turnip began to spin so fast

that it bore through the floor, emitting a wisp of smoke. The cursed turnip continued through the crust &mantle, and when it hit the core a jet of lava shot into Martha Stewart's

kitchen. When Martha Stewart makes lava cakes, she uses *real* lava, 99.9% organic. Her New Year's Eve party guests were both stunned and delighted

by the fire & ice concept watching in rapt awe as the lava cakes flowed through the flimsy tins & baked Alaska, a real slice of tundra & the delegates signed the Paris agreement.