"The Tommy Gnosis version is the far superior

"The Tommy Gnosis version is the far superior rendition," she spat, vehemently showering biscotti crumbs all over her rapt group of disciples. "Tom and Jerry? More like Uncle Tom

meets Jerry Seinfeld." She spat again, losing some of her teeth with the biscotti crumbs. "'What is the deal with this cabin?'" she mocked. "What's the deal with these deals?"

It was the sad science of studying old Seinfeld routines that she'd fallen into. Some called it the brown study.

As she contemplated her obsession with watching Seinfeld, she understood she was losing touch with reality. She began thinking she was Elaine and starting "GET OUT" & shoving her

doppleganger into the cardboard simulacrum of herself her other self had ordered from Zazzle. "Am I Elaine, or am I Julia-Louise Dreyfuss?" she simpered. Kramer appeared softly,

"I am not sure. It depends on the light. In the fluorescent blue light, you look like Elaine. In the white fluorescent light, you look completely different." "What? The blue light

they've been stuck together like glue with rubberbands. One day they'd enjoy a visit to Niagara Falls. Not understanding completely why her friends were honored by her writing abo

-ut her sick fantasy of wanting to see them go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, she just muttered "Thank you" and trotted off to find a barrel big enough for the both of them.

The only cooper around on short notice was Anderson Cooper. "I haven't made a barrel since So You Think You Can Make Barrels!" He said. He gave her a spare; her fantasy came true.