I was walking home from the pub across the

I was walking home from the pub across the fields when I saw on the hill a bonfire with witches dancing. A very beautiful witch only wearing a cutty sark stopped to stare at me

was dizzy. Together we were Hypnotic Vertigo. She played drums and I sang. I kept falling off the stage and kareening around while she kept a steady beat. The crazy thing was that

people actually listened to this faux-rock processed rubbish. Ah well, it's their lives I suppose.

He twisted the tips of his handlebar. "I knew about faux-rock even before it became big. We were being ironic and you fell for it!"

As he spoke, he felt boulder than ever before. In the past, people had taken him for granite, but now with his handlebar moustache & conglomerate personality, he could rock

the Quarry. He was prospecting for gems in the rough & stumbled on Petra. She had craggy features & a stony disposition but he was sure if he chipped away... He fondled his mustac

He and wondered about Petra. Was she just another golddigger? He would find out later, but we digress. It was only 3:00:37 am and tufted away was the rest of the day. Ladyfingers

we're strewn haphazardly all around the excavation site like mysiogonistic Drumpf sound bites. Petra lay unconscious beside her metal detector like a drunken millenia Bernboi. The

twindled direwarg bleeted incessantly, whispering its doom. Netherwords to all stepped on the site, tittering their feet on relics of olde. Petra came to, sickly and unaware birds