There would be many times shitting my pants

There would be many times shitting my pants in front of or in the midst of large crowds, but on Saturday the 28th, 2012, I had the the shit that would lead to my greatest adventure

He sat back and loosened his belt. Before him lay the disarrayed pile of crawdad shells. He sipped his sweet tea and fanned his brow with his straw hat. Absolute Satisfaction.

Yes sir indeed, this was a particularly fine afternoon thought Old Man Timpleton. But that's when he saw that pesky little girl, tabitha across the street. He hated her so much

He can barely stand the face of the poor girl. She was a ratchet commoner's child. He didnt like persky little girls nor commoners. He loved rich people who never gave in to those

food banks or other poor-people related stuff. He loved rich people with such fervour that he married Kim Kardashian. They made love on a bed of gold coins & brushed their teeth in

the blood of the befuddled masses who sent in samples as the price of entry to a phony contest whereby the supposed "winner" would spend a weekend serving Kim Kardashian and hubby

in their mansion in Norfolk for a full two weeks. Little did they know that the contest was nothing more than a government fraud, and all the blood samples were being used for

experiments to generate a biological weapons of mass destruction.

..............hahahahaaa!!!!! Just kidding! You didn't think I really meant that, did you? Now put down that gun and let's go for ice cream. Gawd, you are soooooo gullible!