"Burned it again! Ughhh. Another twice dead

"Burned it again! Ughhh. Another twice dead cow and nothing to eat." This was

the norm when McDonald's cooks brought their culinary training home with them. "I microwaved Bessie and nothing happened besides death, reincarnation, and more death," I lamented

ever having seen the infomercial. Cuisine takes more than 30 minutes and several thousand dollars. Charred Bessie was good for nothing but fertilizer now, so I crumbled her burnt

remains into a stock pot adding an onion. She made delicious soup, but after 2 bowls, the ghost of Charred Betty entered my right ear. She whispered terrible curses day & night.

It was maddening! I tried to ignore Charred Betty's whisperings, but I found myself arguing out loud with her instead. 'Course, no one else could see or hear her. It was only after

They were a pair of aces. Now I had a full house. Charred Betty kept yammering, but I was hot tonight. I went all in. I said, "Let's go suckers, I'm betting the farm!" The tiny Asi

cs salesman was a real ace if you know what I mean. "Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Say no more!" Betty screamed in rage after losing at the poker table

all her savings. She was pretty much broke bankrupt now. But she needed a quick way to get some more money. She thought about this while enjoying a glass of red wine. And then

she chugged it. Who was she kidding? Her life was a lie. Deep Inside she was a crack whore with a crazy philosophy, and she would share it with the world, one trick at a time.