What if Finn and Jake were evil and the Ice

"I...I don't know" She stammered, strapped the the terrible device. "It's such an open-ended question, I mean-" THWAP. And just like that, she was a pile of HUMAN FLESH.

Her dad burst in, roaring with laughter. "She was like a frog", he rustled out of his beard, "Kept hoppin', no stoppin'." His laughter sounded like a dying house pet. Afterwards,

years of intensive therapy couldn't erase that moment. She buried her Dad in an unmarked grave, burnt all his possessions, changed her name and blew up his house. Morocco-bound she

left with nothing but the clothes on her back and a bag full of used bank notes. Once in Morocco, she made straight for the commissioners office. Recognizing her immediately he

asked her why she gave him the wrong phone number last time she was at Rick's Place in Casablanca. "So now you expect me to get you out of this mess you're in?" The commissioner tu

cked his pants into his socks and started his boxersize class. Sometimes exercise helps think through complex problems. With an adrenaline rush from the class the commissioner

lifted the truck off the child. The adrenaline supplied the commissioner with super strength. Once the child was safe he turned to the town to exploit his new strength by tearing

down the hideous, paisley curtains that adorned the library windows. "Dreadful curtains" he muttered to himself, and then bellowed: "I've struck a blow against bad decorators and

I WILL WIN THIS!" He knew his strategy, it was all about the decoupage. He had brushes & crappy table ready. "HGTV Design Star, look out", he muttered. I am ModPodge, hear me roar!