I never finish anything I Sta

I never finish anything I Sta

ve of indefinitely and that avoids failure & dissapointment. I'm envied because I'm always starting fresh new projects, the more ambituous the better. My motto is "Never finish

anything... ever!" My projects include: half of a rocket ship, 700 pages of a novel about cheese, and partial translation of Poe into Klingon. Never finished a one.

But this...this next project I am working on...this one I really really am gonna finish. No, really. Even if it kills me. Alls I gotta do is get my hands on some plutonium and

dishwasher soap, and POW! Goodbye, Queen Elizabeth! This plan is absolutely foolproof. Of course, I'll need plastic surgery so I won't be recognized by

mailman. My mom has been carrying on with the Mailman for about 8 months now. They make all these sick mail jokes like, "When will you place the letter in my slot?" I hate it.

The worst part was that dad didn't even seem to care. I had to do something so I

got on the phone with Karen. Sure, we hadn't talked in a while, but this was different because

We actually chose death by chocolate, simultaneously. As Paracelsus wrote, "the dose makes the poison." Unfortunately, he was correct. These chocolates were a fatal attraction.