"Mffmphm. Mmmpha, heamfff - phmmth!" he

"Mffmphm. Mmmpha, heamfff - phmmth!" he mumbled through the duct tape over his mouth. I grinned and revved the Smart ForTwo's engine, which sounded exactly like a hair dryer

that had been plugged into a 400-volt outlet. WHEEEEEEEE *fizzle* Well, I certainly didn't get very far with THAT getaway vehicle, so I flung my hostage over my shoulder and

tottered along the road to hail a taxi. "Sorry, mate," said the cabbie, "I can't take you south of the river." "Where could you take me?" I asked. "Enfield". That's how my hostage

and I escaped the police by going to enfield. Of course, I couldn't let the cabbie see I had the hostage, so I hid her under my shirt and pretended to be a fat American.

That cab was free-eezzing, but my hostage kept me warm under there, under my shirt. I could feel her fingers digging into my armpits.I hoped I remembered to put deodorant on.

But when I tried to remember, I couldn't. I couldn't picture myself in the bathroom. Or even my deodorant. So I let my hostage breathe my pit funk into her nostrils while the cabbi

e swerved to avoid the oncoming traffic. However the foul odor of my pits had affected his mental capacity, and it wasn't long before we were lost in the seemingly never ending wil

Chronicling of the universe and its evolution. There were new suns and moons discovered daily. Dt. Perronicus and his minions were quite perturbed by the cognitive dissonance found

in the seats of their trousers after eons of locating and identifying all those heavenly bodies. "Well boys, " Dt. Perronicus said to them, "looks like it's cosmic laundry day."