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The Great Bird Rebellion was set off by overcrowding.

  • The Great Bird Rebellion was set off by overcrowding. 24 birds in a pie! That's not even enough room to think much less move. Their first kill was the baker, then they went after

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  • the candlestick maker. Somehow the butcher had made an escape while we were baking the pie. This is

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  • pure dribble. Nursery Rhymes were invented by the MI6 to control the world and have everyone secretly worship castles and royalty. Hit them while their young was

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  • converted to Mormonism and sent out in pairs once they reached marrying age to further convert the masses with the seductive promises of

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  • Free loaner bikes and Bad Haircuts. When I am an elder, I get to take certain liberties with young, nubile

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  • freshmen. "I keep getting older, but they just stay the same age" I always say. Of course, before it was just ten years of college, now it's just true in prison. The ladies aren't

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  • at least as knowledgeable as as Germain Greer nor as finely groomed as the winner at Ascot. However, these ladies are 7ft tall with green eyes and push silver wheelbarrows

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  • up to the snows of Mount Kilimanjaro every Tuesday to obtain fresh drinking water. Their calves are like rock and their thighs are like

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  • her will; iron clad only when approached by a 3 legged yak. Or Justin Beiber.

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  • As luck would have it, he spied Bieber approaching, riding a three legged yak. The prophecy was complete, it was the end of days, and her will would be done.

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