The Great Bird Rebellion was set off by overcrowding.

The Great Bird Rebellion was set off by overcrowding. 24 birds in a pie! That's not even enough room to think much less move. Their first kill was the baker, then they went after

the candlestick maker. Somehow the butcher had made an escape while we were baking the pie. This is

pure dribble. Nursery Rhymes were invented by the MI6 to control the world and have everyone secretly worship castles and royalty. Hit them while their young was

converted to Mormonism and sent out in pairs once they reached marrying age to further convert the masses with the seductive promises of

Free loaner bikes and Bad Haircuts. When I am an elder, I get to take certain liberties with young, nubile

freshmen. "I keep getting older, but they just stay the same age" I always say. Of course, before it was just ten years of college, now it's just true in prison. The ladies aren't

at least as knowledgeable as as Germain Greer nor as finely groomed as the winner at Ascot. However, these ladies are 7ft tall with green eyes and push silver wheelbarrows

her will; iron clad only when approached by a 3 legged yak. Or Justin Beiber.

As luck would have it, he spied Bieber approaching, riding a three legged yak. The prophecy was complete, it was the end of days, and her will would be done.