I looked tomy dock and thought that I saw

  • I looked tomy dock and thought that I saw Travis Mcgee and Myer sitt5ing topside of the "Busted Flush", but no. Travis and company were from the never were, and ravis and company

  • were also from the never were, in that they never were, which means they could not have ever been from the never were, which was never the point. So anyway, a Hippo swallowed me.

  • It was actually pretty nice in there. I set up a time share with Jed and Frank, a nice gay couple from Yorkshire. Sure the stomach acid got in the way every now and then, but

  • as long as I didn't have to participate I could care less what they did during their time share. I reserved my times for the spring breaks and sought out the young college girls.

  • But first things first, I had to pay a visit to the liquor store around the corner to make sure I had enough "liquid courage." My equation is simple, girls + booze =

  • first base. girls + more booze + movie - halitosis = second base. girls + keys to dad's convertible + dental dam = third base and my equation for home base was girls +

  • booze + a wedding ring, which I realize now was probably the worst way to score. Apparently when it goes that far, girls want something called "commitment" which I always thought

  • meant a rubber room with a strait jacket. I found speed dating a bit puzzling. It took me a while to discover they were more than one woman. This would explain why

  • there were 19 men speed-dating alongside me and only one woman. It all became clear when she leaned forward and, hoping for a glimpse of her rack, I stared down her shirt and saw

  • a metal control panel. This woman was a robot, as suspected. Women have been extinct for five years now, but we all try and live our lives as normal. A tear rolled down my cheek.



  1. gbgbgbgb Apr 25 2011 @ 23:45

    What a twist ending! ;_;

  2. Bad. Apr 25 2011 @ 23:50

    Indeed, the ending brought me to tears. Such raw emotion in only 180 characters.

  3. Sarimus Apr 25 2011 @ 23:55

    Had to resist the obvious, hilarious reading this back

  4. Chaz Apr 26 2011 @ 00:14

    "SO ANYWAY, a Hippo swallowed me." - Somebody seems a little distracted. :)

  5. Bad. Apr 26 2011 @ 00:19

    Haha, I'm just happy he worked off the opener that I didn't wanna touch :P

  6. Chaz Apr 26 2011 @ 00:37

    RE: Hippo, I was talking about the charcter, It's a great line.

  7. SlimWhitman Apr 26 2011 @ 04:38

    He lulls you into never were land and then the Hippo just comes out of nowhere . Hilarious.

  8. sundancer Jul 24 2011 @ 22:50

    This is a truly amazing folding story. Well done everyone!

  9. SlimWhitman Jul 25 2011 @ 08:23

    The mother of all Hippo stories, and one of my all time favorites.

  10. buddyboy4711 Nov 26 2013 @ 20:11

    Hi all. I just did an undramatic reading of this story. Dunno if the link works, but my cosmic finger-crossing powers should swing the odds: http://www.mediafire.com/listen/cznwiwnj8dg0y5b/TheMotherOfAllHippoStories.mp3

  11. Chaz Nov 26 2013 @ 22:56

    buddyboy4711, I was sitting on the bus, and this guy sat right next to me, and began to tell this story... Great rendition!

  12. KieferSkunk Nov 27 2013 @ 00:42

    I just jumped on the bandwagon - here's a reading of one my recent favorites. :) Linked from http://foldingstory.com/o151w/

  13. KieferSkunk Nov 27 2013 @ 00:56

    ...and just did another one here: http://foldingstory.com/fs9qm/ :)

  14. KieferSkunk Nov 27 2013 @ 01:10

    ...okay, I promise this is the last one for now: http://foldingstory.com/lz3aj/ (3)

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