I found a little girl sitting on the curbside

I found a little girl sitting on the curbside all alone, so i went up to her and asked her what was wrong. her response was "get away from you creepy old lady." And then she

transformed into a massive dark figure, producing a great scythe from beneath her robe. She proceeded to charge forward at me when she

suddenly found out the I was the great Lord Voldemort seeking out to kill the infamous Harry Potter before he

I got up to leave but my friend pushed me back down. "Wait until after the credits!" So I sat back down. Ten minutes later, I neon pyramid appeared," You are the choosen ones!"

I was all "What? Huh?" But my friend was like "Yup. See? Told ya." So the neon pyramid goes "You are the ones who have been chosen!" We were both all "Um, yeah, you said that."

Turns out me & Mat were "Speakers for Earth". These way ugly Overlord dudes in a mega spaceship with like major tentacle action expected us to explain why they shouldn't destroy

our planet. But Me & Mat said, "Excellent!" and played air guitar. The ugly Overlord dudes looked at each other. I said, "You can't destroy earth because 69 is our favorite

number." Me & Mat cracked up, doubled over in laughter.The ugliest of the ugly Overloard dudes pressed the red button and just like that, Me & Mat tumbled into eternity, giggling

at the prospects of being the first to venture into a proof of a mathematical theorem. Aristotle argued that the cosmos has no beginning.