When I put a package with a running vibrator

  • When I put a package with a running vibrator in front of the principals office as a prank, I really didn't expect the evacuation or bombsquad, but

  • the resulting show was hilarious. The bomb sniffing robot chased that box across the floor as the vibrator kept the box shuffling from side to side like a Sidewinder. Expelled for

  • for impersonating a diamond backed rattler, suddenly the robot halted and stood stock still before letting out the most hideous keening scream that bounced off the walls of the old

  • uterus. Being back here reminds of the old days. Ah, hello again cervix. Old fundus! It's been so long. I love going back to the old neighborhood and seeing what's happening.

  • "Sex Ed at a catholic school sure is lame," I thought. The puppet show continued when "Spermy" visited his pal, Ovary. Then the God puppet entered heroically and condemned

  • the puppets for fornicating out of wedlock. I mean, big deal if the parents would ditch each other for a broken home. Who cares about loyalty or the child? Or planning a future?

  • "I want them for my show," said Dr. Phil to his producer as he watched the tape. "I've never counseled dysfunctional puppets on the air before. Bring 'em in during ratings week!"

  • As the puppets sat lifeless during the interview it dawned on Dr Phil that the people who had their hands up the puppets asses where the real stars and he vowed to be more careful

  • when selecting interviewees from the large pool of various ass-hand combinations. "Dr" Phil went back to reviewing Jerry Springer episodes from the 90s to get some inspiration. He

  • recognised his old college professor in the audience and wondered if it was because of his influence that he had taken this path in life. Dr Phil found a subject for his next book.



  1. SlimWhitman May 10 2013 @ 03:18

    Dr. Phillopian.

  2. PurpleProf May 10 2013 @ 08:33

    Heeeeheeee, SW... Spermy and Ovary getting counseling from Dr. Philopian! SO funny!!

  3. 49erFaithful May 10 2013 @ 13:56

    Ahh, takes me back to Mr. Williams and 7th grade Sex Ed. Awkward is too insufficient a word... The man was a hero for trying though.

  4. buddyboy4711 May 10 2013 @ 14:46

    Ah, Sex Ed. I got kicked out for falling asleep. Not only did I miss out on the Critical Thinking Group Worksheet about clerical celibacy (hot damn), but they made me sit in the hallway next to the boy who kept laughing at the word 'breast'. Hehe, 'breast'.

  5. inatick May 10 2013 @ 15:20

    In Sex Ed. we didn't learn about celibacy but had a class activity where we had to list all the slang words for penis, testicles, vagina and breasts. Of course after that we had to use the correct terms and it was a long list but it helped get over the awkwardness of discussing the topic in class.

  6. Zetawilk May 10 2013 @ 23:56

    All I remember from sex ed (which lasted for all about one year in seventh grade, the rest was all drugs which was rather hypocritical of them and a waste of time considering how all my classmates turned out), was that the kids the from the male 70s video made a cameo in the female 70s video, and I couldn't help but wonder if the reverse was true. Oh, that and people shouldn't get all guilty about masturbation because nobody wants another Carrie situation to happen.

  7. m80 May 14 2013 @ 22:08

    There is actually a dysfunctional puppet TV show now, called Felt. Supposedly the dialogue is recorded from real couples' counseling, but the therapist and the patients are puppets.

  8. Zetawilk May 14 2013 @ 22:18

    That kind of stuff always disturbs me.

  9. SlimWhitman May 15 2013 @ 07:56

    Line 1 is also based on real life.

  10. Zetawilk May 15 2013 @ 11:39

    I always base my folds on real life!

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