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The centipede was actually a cleverly designed

  • The centipede was actually a cleverly designed plasti

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  • c spork that was used in conjunction with several hats in some sort of magic trick. The magician bowed. This was one f the few trick that he felt was really worth his time. "And th

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  • e next trip will involve 4 hors d'oeuvres & my magical finger sporks. May I ask 4 volunteers to come forward with their favorite appetizer?" The kitty litter cake, road kill r

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  • Then I had a thought...Where the **** am I?

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  • I looked around. I recognized the swing set and the beer pong table, but the flat screen TVs and the Whack A Mole game were definitely new, and the smell of fresh cut basil

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  • from hanging container gardens. Hefner's mansion had definitely changed since the swinging days. He had added a miniature golf course and a rack for his trucker cap collection.

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  • Don't get me wrong the Hef still had plenty of time to invent the sweaty bed while the rest of us were left pickling the orange ivory plant. Yet the trucker hats did come in handy

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  • when we got in line for the Monster Truck Rally at the Cow Palace. Boy, that place sure stank, though - woo-wee! It was like a thousand stink bombs went off all at once and

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  • ... The loudspeaker interrupted my rambling "Will the owner of a silver Lamborghini parked in Cow Palace Lot B please come to the information booth?" Oh NO! The Monster Truck Rally

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  • is tonight. In Lot B! I promptly soiled my silk boxers as Bouncing Betty obliterated my tricked-out Lambo. Karma's all too real; live and learn.

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