The steak lay quietly in its styrofoam tray,

The steak lay quietly in its styrofoam tray, tightly wrapped in plastic, tormented by nightmares. It could neither scream nor thrash nor even shudder at its horrific dreams. No one

knew the vein throbbing anxiety of the grade A steak. It wasn't because it's freshness date had expired that it squrimed like a maggot infested cutlet. The steak had a blood curdl

ing scream when cut into. As the woman started to cut the steak, she heard it - a banshee like shriek that stopped the second her knife stopped its handiwork

She alerted the waiter. "Problem Miss?" "My steak is screaming." "Happens all the time." He snapped his fingers, "Exorcist!"

The exorcist was a native American shaman, wearing animal furs with the heads and legs still on them and deer antlers sticking out in unlikely places. He placed her screaming steak

inside an old wooden bowl. He continued by pouring a large amount of chewing gum over the screaming steak. The steak took a piece of gum and started chewing it, with fleshy teeth.

No one noticed the old crinkly man in the corner until it was too late. "I told you so!" he cackled & pointed his gnarly finger at the steak. "Now GO!" he commanded & the steak

screaming in rage as it collided with his face. The old man flew backwards off of his chair, slamming into a wall. The steak laughed maniacally and flew away into the night.

It's not often that steaks get away--their lives are nasty, brutish and short. But this steak flew hard to India where it lived in a temple garden until the end of its life.