I raised my right hand, said "I do" at the

I raised my right hand, said "I do" at the appropriate time, spelled my name, sat down, glanced meekly at the jury, and proceeded to explain to the whole courtroom why I had killed

the whole 12er of Bud even though I knew it was my roommate's. I looked arond the courtroom and sensed the sentiment was not in my favor. Sitting in the jury box was

Wolf Blitzer. He wouldn't make eye contact with at all. He thought I was guilty. How did he get on Jury duty in my case? Would he understand about the beer I wondered

aloud, within earshot of the interpretive stenographer. She kept a physical record of the proceedings with dance. "Hey, I'm not plotting Mr. Blitzer's demise," I claimed as she mim

ed shooting a gun then shaking her head "no". The jury was supposed to ignore the interpretive stenographer, but it was hard since she accompanied her dance moves with a theremin.

ia Mons Galactic Games Summit was well underway. The prosecuting team won 98-85, and as is custom, feasted on the cranial sweetbreads of the defense for the live streaming cameras

Luckily, the defence don't need too much brain to function, so boarded the rocket to Ganymede. In the capsule, the postmortem started: "You shouda sliced their ventricles BEFORE

you sauteed them. Now they're too tough to cut and...no, no, no...I said FOLD, not whip!" 3 long hours later they sat stupidly together in the capsule, preparing to devour their

salad of papers and graphite dreams. Each denied the tears that wept as they waited for reentry, thinking over their losses. The tears swept away the words which they then ate.