They'd left the Chimp "Chortles" at the Chimpanzee

They'd left the Chimp "Chortles" at the Chimpanzee rescue home in Tustin. They couldn't take care of him anymore. "Chortle's" heart shattered, rotted then turned to a vine of hate

. Tustin's terror began when Chortles pilfered the keys to his cage. Initially no one made the connection between the missing chimp & the series of homicides. Chimps DNA is so simi

lar to orangutans that this fact threw off any leads to the investigation for weeks. "if only I had more time!", Tustin frowned, as he struggled to remove the knots bounding his

Giant vlasic pickle jar sealed with Aerolite, Peter could never believe in icepicksuntil the tragic accident involvong three crowns.

He also believed in icepicks because of Sharon Stone. She had an icepick and no underwear in Basic Instinct, and underwear and no icepick in Casino. Clearly it was better to have

BOTH an ice pick and underwear but that option was never on the table for Sharon Stone. It came to him in a lucid dream that HE was the one to write that script for her. All he had

, he gave. All he gave, she took. All she took, she kept. That's the way it was with SharonStone. He certainly had plenty of personal experience to write a suitable script for her.

Why was it, then, that he was suffering from such a terrible case of writer's block? Surely there was a written masterpiece of a script inside him, if only he could

stop pottering around in the garden and do some freewriting instead. He pulled up a dahlia, smiled and tried to put it back but it lay limp and lifeless. 'I must write' he said...