Since WWI when soldiers at xmas put down

Since WWI when soldiers at xmas put down their guns and played football against the enemy it has been a tradition in every war no matter where in the world for soldiers to

shake their presents and try to guess what was inside. That was back in WWI. Now it's WWXXI. It's Zxerchophan against humans. But, it is still Christmas. The presents

today mostly consist of weapons, ammunition, military rations. Sometimes sub-zero attire. Now that annual world wars have supplanted the Super Bowl, the advertising industry has

taken to endorsing weapon systems: Laser Targeting drones brought to you by Walmart, Defensive Anti-personnel brought to you by Starbucks. The War sport teams had names like

Battling Betty and Fighting Ferdinand. A graphic design contest was being held to design the jerseys. While all entries would be acknowledged with a small token, the grand prize

Was a ticket to "Dracula". How perfect was that? The interior Beethoven was drinking tea while composing his "Emperor Concerto" (No. 5) and using claret ink. Outside, the leaves

. "If the music ain't Baroque, don't fix it!" hissed Johann Sebastian, his all-seeing red eyes gleaming in the flickering candlelight of the bedroom. Romanticism aside, vampires

are a-holes. So I told Bach to shut up and you-know-what. He tried to suck my blood so I kicked him out of bed. Then he improvised on the harpsichord in B minor, baring his fangs.

I countered with pianoforte. He changed key. He even called in more voices & more contras. I threw up a cacophony but his elf horns blew through. It was morning for the Magicians.