Once upon a time in Hell, the silliest little

Once upon a time in Hell, the silliest little demon, Stan, accidentally brought his spoon to work instead of his pitchfork. But Stan grew bored with jabbing evil mortals in the bum

and joined the immortals for dinner. "What's on the menu, Beelzebob? I brought my own spoon." "Oh, Stan, we're out of room. You'll have to pull up a kiddy table." The soul du jour

is not very bright. I don't even know how he

manages. You see, I'm classy; I rarely eat any form of noodle. But he isn't; he'll goggle up gluten like there is no tomorrow. I chalked that up to his

inability to eat fried dessicated grasshoppers. He did like pickled geckos though and one day, when the hunger pangs came he went to the pantry and picked up some tins of

anchovy paste, which he mixed with the fried grasshoppers and pickled geckos to make canapés for his friend's surprise birthday party. The fishy taste did mask the flavor somewhat.

Only he could combine such strange ingredients and produce something delicious. In the hands of a lesser man it would be a dish only suitable to feed contestants on Fear Factor.

"This is in-CREDIBLE!" gushed Rachel Ray, who had only last week invited him to her show instead to share his secret recipe. "Is that cilantro I taste?" He laughed inwardly at her

dish. The celebrity chef showdown was getting intense, but as I always say, If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. BAM! Chef Emeril Lagasse dominates again, bitches!