I became suspicious that my schizophrenia

I became suspicious that my schizophrenia had returned when I happened to glance in the bowl. Corn? I hadn't eaten corn in months. There was a hard knock at the door.

I gave it a B minus. Had I been an instructor of some sort? "Who eez eet?" I asked through the mail flap. "What are you doing in my house?" I shouted from the other side. This worr

ying feel came over me as I looked out the flap at the neighbours house, it appeared my neighbour was doing the same thing. Her eyes connected with mine and in an instant it was lo

lf. "Oh boy! Pork chops for dinner!!" I taunted her. Enraged, she came at me again with her saws, but this time I had my chainsaw ready. "And what else? What else shall I have for

din-din?!" We both decided on beef, so we collectively sawed the cow. The penile tissues were removed first, because we didn't like the taste of that. After two minutes, we were

regretting that decision. The cow, it turned out, was made of styrofoam -- except for the genitals which were made of string cheese. But it was too late as a horde of rats were

gnawing the artificial insemination cow apart from the legs up. Feeling their cow sink into the tide of rats, it dawned on our heroes that they had picked the wrong escape steed.

"I told you that you can't ride a cow, you bumbling, twitchy little idiot." Hero number 1 said. "Listen, it's not my fault, I used to ride cows all the time to

break in my chaps and tighten my butt cheeks.” He beamed her a smile worthy of the dead. “You know, the anal kegel Mr. Bojangle!“ Her frown lifted slightly. “Strange, but cute."