Kimberley Stockholm was a goddess - she had

Kimberley Stockholm was a goddess - she had legs that were a mile long, teeth that you could see your reflection in, and hips

that haunted your dreams. I'd worshipped her since freshman year, but I knew I'd never have a chance with her. Of course she was dating that tool from the football team, Phil Flynn

But, I knew that Phil Flynn's weakness. She may have been dating Phil Flynn, but Phil Flynn claimed to be an abstinent Christian because he simply had no penis. Only balls.

But the balls were formidable balls, swaggering Elephantine Meat Boulders that smelled like a calzone. No dick and big balls meant Phil Flynn could throw

up. (Erp) I had to stop there. As a proof-reader, this was the most discussing description of human anatomy I had ever laid eyes on, especially for Harlequin Silhouette. I wrote

a letter to the editor. "As morally upstanding proof reader I must point out that the discussion of human anatomy starting on p.32 is too lengthy & beats around the bush too much

Tom handed the letter to his assistant who read it earnestly. "What should I do?" asked the assistant. Tom laughed. "Tell her to try shaving higher next time." "Right, shave."

She wouldn't have got on the train with razor cut legs. The vampire sitting next to her wouldn't have become enraged with blood lust with the inevitable results. There's a moral

to most stories, but this isn't one of them. This one was just for the fun of it.