Heal me! thrill me! Kill me! but Keep me

Heal me! thrill me! Kill me! but Keep me coming back for more! Shine a light into my heart. Thrn bring me back to life with your radiant spark!

For what seemed the hundredth time that month I cursed myself for agreeing to come along on my cousin's grand tour of the evangelical deep south. I smiled, put a dollar in the cup,

"Bless you my son" said a mostly toothless woman squatting next to her shopping cart. The Lord have mercy. I once sang in a church choir. Lemme' sing Amazing Grace." My tour group

-ed up near a Sbarro's pizza. The toothless woman smiled at me and reached for the last slice of pepperoni. "Not so fast grandma" I shouted and threw the bear trap over

The young princess, mainly bc the dark side had cookies and an endless supply of Legos. She sat on her tuffet, ate the last piece of pizza and smiled wickedly. A girl can get used

to this. It's just like the old saying goes: Once you sit on a tuffet, nothing else will do. Dark Side tuffets had electrodes intertwined with the upholstery, so that when you sat

it would transfer your brain patterns to a computer and notify creditors of your whereabouts. Of course you could avoid sitting on the tuffet but

how else could you attract the attention of Miss Muffett? I decided to risk the tuffet scanner and waited for Miss M to sit on my lap. When she did my knees buckled. Curds & whey

sloppily sloshed out of the bowl. A spider who'd crept up beside her lapped up the gooey mess on her dress. He smiled at Ms Muffett and said, "Thanks! That was whey nice of you."