The gods had been sleeping when Delores got

The gods had been sleeping when Delores got the job at Bean, Bean & Krump.

Legal assistant, Delores was in charge of filling discoveries concerning off-shore dealings with pharmaceutical patents. "If these were to fall into the wrong hands..." she smiled

someone could make millions. However, how many gullible people are going to continue to buy ground palm leaves touted to be the next wrinkle reducer? At $50 a tube, selling like ho

tcakes at a fat farm. It would take the FDA years to figure out the ground palm leaves were really old maple leaves from my yard. I was making a ton of $ with this new cream &

and my face as soft as a baby's butt. Although it smelt like

smelts. My face, not the baby's butt. That's because I had just eaten a whole plateful of smelts. I had horrid breath, but the baby didn't seem to care.

That's because it was immune. You see, the babysitter was French - you could tell this even when she didn't speak; it's because you could smell her crotch fumes across the room.

That's the price of being a dog. We have powerful noses. This French babysitter was going to face the humiliation of her life at the paws of this Canine. I itched behind my ear

then slyly spraypainted "Dum bich" on the back of her head. Hey, I'm a dog. Barring a tasteless 90s comedy, that's about the extent of my abilities.