Danny used a homemade pond life viewer made

  • Danny used a homemade pond life viewer made from a toilet roll with clear cellophane attached to the bottom with an elastic band, to examine the contents of his soup carefully.

  • "Ah, there's a cube of fake chicken. And a pea! Look, a PEA!" Danny's pushed his soup view deeper into the bowl. "GAH! Looks like a pubic hair." Danny looked up at me accusingly.

  • "No there isn't. Let me see that." I took the bowl from Danny and looked into it... What? The soup bowl was deeper on the inside than on the outside... There was a whole ecosystem

  • beneath the swirling mists. I leaned over the bowl to get a closer look & slipped into the primordial soup. It was a hot, murky broth, with little bits floating everywhere. I heard

  • schools of primitive cubed carrots croaking as they swam through the gently waving forests of primal noodles. Meat-like organisms prowled the silty bottom. I swam to the surface to

  • fill my lungs with the buillion-scented steam before plunging back down between two primeval potato wedges who (thankfully) had just made a kill. I could see the spinach in their

  • reverie, having just oiled a mushroom to death. I was suddenly aware of the potential among my vegetable friends. We were not just food for thought, we were an army! And so began

  • The Carrot Crusade. Carrots did make up the early majority of the army that was mustered just outside Orleans. It was also true that a young carrot named Steo set it in motion, but

  • the Carrot Crusade faced defeat when a giant Bugs Bunny appeared. Plucking a screaming carrot soldier, Bugs munched him casually. “What’s Up Doc?” he bellowed, chewing. The army

  • General had no other choice. "Execute order FD." "But sir --" "YOU HEARD ME!" Over a distant hill, the words of a enormous beast echoed out... "Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!"



  1. Woab Jun 18 2019 @ 10:34

    Amazing, and surprisingly coherent!

  2. inatick Jun 30 2019 @ 03:21

    A quality read involving drama and intrigue. I would love to see this animated.

  3. lucielucie Jul 17 2019 @ 11:55

    A lovely ode to soup! Long overdue imho.

  4. LordVacuity Jul 17 2019 @ 12:15

    I hope the beast stopped off at the Barber of Seville first. https://youtu.be/aEZkhe0AT_g

  5. LordVacuity Jul 17 2019 @ 12:17

    Then that will segue into the Hassenpfeffer episode. Is Hassenpfeffer a soup?

  6. LordVacuity Jul 17 2019 @ 12:23

    It is not but it looks delicious.

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