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"I said 'Sixteen metric tonnes of quadrotriticale',

  • "I said 'Sixteen metric tonnes of quadrotriticale', you moron" slurred the Vulcan into the communicator. "And I better get it tomorrow, or I'm introducing a Tribble to your

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  • flock of infantile little prats!" Backing away from the communicator, the volume of the Vulcan's voice rang in his ear. With a shocked look in his eye, he frantically started

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  • looking through a telephone to locate a nearby comet. This enterprise was unfortunately unsuccessful and the

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  • gang was back at square one. "What about that bedroom adventure gear mock-up in my basement?" chimed in Fernando. "Yeah" said Tucker. "My wife just read Fifty Shades again and she

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  • keeps trying to get me to yell at her about her pie intake or whatever. It's a bit odd." He finished to resounding silence, the rest of the gang awkwardly looking anywhere but him.

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  • And then Jayden squeeked, "Um, cow pie?" And the gang burst into laughter! Jayden always had that way of cutting the thickness of awkward silences.

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  • From then on everything between Jayden and the gang was hunky dory. Anytime anyone said or did anything weird, all they had to say was "cow pie" & all would be forgiven. But then

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  • happy gangs are really short lived. Now that Jayden and the gang were basically happy, they had none of that angry glue that really keeps people together. Jayden joined his church

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  • but they discovered that was the Church of Apulogy. They were forced to work on a Kwik-E-Mart until the end of their days.

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  • At that, my friends, is the story of why your aunt Marsha and Uncle Freddy ALWAYS ruin thanksgiving.

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