"Yeah, he may not own a suite but he makes

"Yeah, he may not own a suite but he makes a good pina colada" the exec joked at my expense. Then a pineapple walked in and crushed him. His wife screamed. The alien turned to her.

She smiled at the Alien, not wanting to seem to eager. She was only just back on the market in the singles game. The alien slithered over and introduced himself. It was love at

first slime. The dim room brightened and she could see auras! The alien's tongues explored her, releasing new hybrid hormones. "Forgive me! We haven't been properly introduced." Sh

Apparently so, because there they stood, with expectant looks on their faces and hands outstretched. OK, she thought, I can play this game too. She pasted on a smile and then

pasted on a smile. I can play this game too, she thought. With hands outstretched, and expectant looks on their faces, there they stood. Apparently.

It was all illusion they weren't there beneath the rail or anywhere; she was dreaming and suddenly she was in old barn sitting in front of a cow with a milk pale

ontologist. Milk paleontologists are patient: milk fossilises poorly. "Find any milk rocks today?" she asked sympathetically. He gave her a withering look and patted his cow, Petra

's blood curdled. This was no way for Petra to butter up a Milk Paleontologist. In udder despair she wanted to get his attention, so she pulled her camera out and yelled, "Say Chee

se!" "Cheezum H. Crackers!" cursed the subject. "My teats have been caught in the pulley!" And that's the story we never told you. Now come on, Bear, it's time for bed.