The unicorn knew he wouldn't last long without

  • The unicorn knew he wouldn't last long without a heart, but he had given it to the Marshmallow King in the hope that it would save the universe. He could never have predicted that

  • it would in fact cause the universe's ultimate destruction. For when the Marshmallow King ate its heart, he realised this unicorn was no ordinary unicorn. No, this was the magic

  • -marker shitting Robot Unicorn of HomoDomoLand. Its heart was so massive from joy that no despondency could escape its loadstone-esque pull; but when Marshmallow King digested it,

  • they were suddenly attacked by ninjas with jetpacks!

  • And the jetpacks all exploded like a 4th of July fireworks display and the pieces of shit riding the jetpacks who had interrupted a perfectly good narrative were blown to tiny bits

  • Penelope was frustrated. She'd been hoping for a chance to try out her parkour and Brazilian Ju Jitsu skills on her night out with Brian, and

  • Brian just wanted a nice night watching "Antiques Roadshow" and eating twiglets. Penelope arranged to meet him on the roof. Grabbing his hand, she dragged him over the edge, "Run!"

  • she whispered. "Run fast, dear one, and leap into that great void!" And she gave Brian a great push that launched him out into the tepid air swirling above Manhattan. "Penelope!"

  • "Pull the cord!" she yelled. But Brian wasn't ready to jump. He wasn't ready to fly. He probably wasn't ready to pancake on the rocks below, either, but..."Pull the flippin' cord!"

  • Brian tried very hard to open the cord, he tried once, twice and finally on his final desperate attempt, the cord gave way. His bag opened, and out came a giant rainbow bridge.



  1. PocketKnight Aug 01 2011 @ 12:07

    I think props need to be given to Tristan here for hastily salvaging a perfectly good story from the hands of ninjas. Let's all give him a round of applause. I would give you more likes if I were able, friend. Believe it or not, jetpacked ninjas DON'T belong in EVERY story.

  2. BlastedHeath Aug 01 2011 @ 13:28

    Ditto that -- nice work, Tristan! Looking back, I wish I had used the exploded ninja bits somehow for continuity.

  3. BlastedHeath Aug 01 2011 @ 22:43

    Great beginning to this story!

  4. Tristan79 Aug 02 2011 @ 04:27

    I appreciate the props, thank you much. I'd been seeing those ninjas busting up too many parties, had to kill them off.

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