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Weird stories are told of the fabulously

  • Weird stories are told of the fabulously rich and brilliant, Sir Francis Dashwood who was notorious for

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  • his bizarre hobbies. My tabloid editor assigned me to research the rumor that Sir Francis Dashwood was actually an alien chameleon who planned to

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  • abscond with several lonely rural farmers back to it's home planet of Karma. Surprisingly, my research showed that Sir Dashwood was not in fact a Karma chameleon but was instead

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  • a Dharma lizard,and they were all right.If I had been a little bit nicer to him he wouldn't have lost his temper like that.Sir Dashwood tried to calm down but when a lizard

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  • eschews buddhism, it does it forever. This lizard was off the karmic wheel & mad as hell. Sir Dashwood wasn't going to be kicked around by no reptile. I said "Ohm," more in hope th

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  • an any higher meaning. I felt my feet fix to the floor like how my son behaves when I tell him it is his bedtime. Sir Dashwood rolled up his sleeves and glared at the lizard

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  • -shaped woman standing before him. "Your reptilian sense of justice is understandable, but I believe I'm now going to punch you in the face." The Lizard Woman opened her mouth &

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  • before she could use her most dangerous weapon I swiftly caught her tongue between my fingers and proceeded to tie it around my hips like a belt. The Lizard Woman

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  • felt so tongue-tied and uncomfortable that she changed colors, rather like a chameleon on acid. She went from green to blue to purple to teal. The Lizard Lady's forked tongue was

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  • vibrating like crazy. She endured a few moments of stray radio stations and then everything came into focus, everything in synch. All was still, all in tune, just for a moment.

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