Weird stories are told of the fabulously

Weird stories are told of the fabulously rich and brilliant, Sir Francis Dashwood who was notorious for

his bizarre hobbies. My tabloid editor assigned me to research the rumor that Sir Francis Dashwood was actually an alien chameleon who planned to

abscond with several lonely rural farmers back to it's home planet of Karma. Surprisingly, my research showed that Sir Dashwood was not in fact a Karma chameleon but was instead

a Dharma lizard,and they were all right.If I had been a little bit nicer to him he wouldn't have lost his temper like that.Sir Dashwood tried to calm down but when a lizard

eschews buddhism, it does it forever. This lizard was off the karmic wheel & mad as hell. Sir Dashwood wasn't going to be kicked around by no reptile. I said "Ohm," more in hope th

an any higher meaning. I felt my feet fix to the floor like how my son behaves when I tell him it is his bedtime. Sir Dashwood rolled up his sleeves and glared at the lizard

before she could use her most dangerous weapon I swiftly caught her tongue between my fingers and proceeded to tie it around my hips like a belt. The Lizard Woman

felt so tongue-tied and uncomfortable that she changed colors, rather like a chameleon on acid. She went from green to blue to purple to teal. The Lizard Lady's forked tongue was

vibrating like crazy. She endured a few moments of stray radio stations and then everything came into focus, everything in synch. All was still, all in tune, just for a moment.