Finished Folds (2001—2020)
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2es and stuff." "Chromosomes and stuff?" repeated the professor. "Warty, what have we been talking about all semester?" Warty looked around at the class. "Uh, chromosomes. And stuff
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4Grandpa Morty took a 45 minute bathroom break and his drone crashed into a sand dune. Gray-Ops Grandma Marge decided that the Pakistanis were too thin and flew her drone
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4This bear lived a long, fulfilled bear life and passed away from heart disease, which ran in his bear family. By some hiccup in the universe, this bear ended up in penguin heaven.
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4Fred's suspicions were confirmed when he caught Pebbles out back of the malt shop with Bam Bam. Fred knew why he had that name. Luckily Pebbles's chastity beast was a fierce
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9OK, here's the deal. You get: all the beer you can drink, all the weed you can smoke, all the food you can eat, unlimited multimedia entertainment and $40,000. I get:
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6ceremony my wife and I routinely engage in on Friday night. It's a special time, made more special by simultaneously viewing this creature
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4destroyed the bathroom one too many times and my mom vowed then and there to place pinecones along every flat surface in the house. As we all know, pine scent is the antidote
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4o engage in coitus one day was finally in motion. One of the guys in the group had a sister who had a friend who was known to engage in coitus all the time. All he had to do
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6We shrugged our shoulders and closed the cell. 48 hours later, she'd changed her tune. A body provided limitless music, with no food, water, light, or human contact, becomes
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9a properly rolled tobacco leaf or a nice snifter of brandy. But sometimes a dog needs something a little stronger to take the edge off. Something like a nice bowl full of crystal m
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3can become very aggravating. Worse than sitting next to someone eating cereal. Plus, there was his bro-in-law who'd been turned into a toad. He decided to cash out and move to Mexi
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4Her friend showed her the ledger. She'd kept track of every pilfered snack, every ketchup packet, every handful of grapes eaten before the checkout line. In her long life she'd
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4the back filled with icewater. There was a vicious melee for the only life jacket. Only God can judge me now.
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4At sunrise I asked for her hand in marriage. She was so excited we nearly tipped our vaporetti and the answer was yes. I was ecstatic. Everything was going perfectly. Too perfectly
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2which I needed to see for myself if it was true that the map of middle-Earth included in the original manuscript in fact contained a map to the lost treasure of Ivan the Terrible.
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3to the dismay of his fellow performing artists, the attending crowd, and of deepest significance to the Beave's own mother who was wheeled in to view the spectacle. She'd heard
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5some mushroom soup in his kitchen. Then a dog barked and he work up again only to realize that he'd only dreamed that he'd woken up before. A flashback to
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4Some might say *too* shiny, at least for a human. The bots were sometimes made too perfect to blend in with human society as they were intended. This bot was built to save Seattle
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3slammed a soldier against the wall with it's mammoth stone paws. It began to toy with the severely injured man, pinning him, then letting him go just to pin him again. The Sphinx
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7ella distributor who mostly sold to older folks who needed the herbal benefits but couldn't or wouldn't smoke it. She'd prepared a special Thanksgiving pot pie but had left it in t