Finished Folds (2381—2400)
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3aborted attempt at a frozen concoction cobbled together with whatever was on sale at 7-Eleven. I stumbled back into the store, groggy, looking for Advil. The clerk yelled "You! You
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6God, he wouldn't, would he? Quick as an oversized undead beaverdemon he was on me, trying to chew through my plastic tail in an attempt to add the chunks to his River Styx dam.
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7se. Any old nose would do. Mine was closest. Muriel turned to Frank and said "Coffee me or shoot me, your choice." I quipped "Geez, Muriel's chipper this morning isn't she?"
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8version Abraham had submitted to Yahweh for final approval. But then Adam got a hold of the script and used his influence to politic for more action scenes. Suddenly a shark bit my
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4Dharma & Greg where Dharma's dogma gets run over by her karma. I was disgusted but couldn't deny a craving for something Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n Fruity. Turns out, I got my
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4"Come in here dear boy, have a cigar." The bearded man offered a box of Cohibas. He was unsure of whether to accept, and what it would mean if he did, or if he didn't. The bearded
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5which in turn caused Wally to counter with a complete evacuation of his bowels. When the elevator doors opened
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9too much without exhaling enough. Von W. III's lungs were painfully swollen so he was prescribed antipneumonoultramicroscopics by Dr. Pheelguddenheistmeistersteinenburger. Brevity
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5ntstone would be worth a fortune if I could pull this off. I already had an oversized jawbone, a thick skull with tiny brain cavity, large metatarsals, and a spotted orange frock.
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3thought to herself 'My God, life has certainly taken a turn towards oddity lately.' Harrieta was smackdab in the middle of the Great Depression, and if that weren't pickle enough
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5Come in. Come in over. This is Major Dick to ground control. I've stepped through the looking glass. I'm past one hundred thousand miles and I'm feeling very still. Tell my wife I
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7desktop, in a folder marked "To Do". Probably shouldn'tve loaned that laptop to my fiance's father without a thorough cleanse.
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7But both Scarn and Manatee were stopped by a newly deputized TSA agent on steroids. They were hastily stripped of all crime-fighting gadgetry. The terrorists had already won.
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3and he was always happy to see me. It showed. Manatee P.I. offered me a Pez. I declined. "How goes the good fight?" I queried. He said "There's something that's been bothering me
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7"Yes sir. Mm hmm. Yes. The human female appears to possess all the physical attributes generally prized by the male of this species. Right. OK. Well, do you want me to
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3an obvious douchebag wearing karate robes and a sneer, and some creep with a hood, a mask, and a pretty big knife. It was a nightmare, but once I realized I was dreaming
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11Several apartment neighbor's doors burst open to see their half-naked bodies sopping wet in the hallway. He yelled "You're just a tease! And to think, I bought you the lobster!"
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8Somewhere between very little and nearly everything, depending on whether or not God actually exists, and just what exactly, THIS is. "What is this?" said a voice from the back.
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4of Canada was well under way, so we were able to keep our proof of Martian life a secret. I was reexamining specimen jar #49 which we had inoculated with spores yesterday when
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7we were able to take our morning stroll again out on the dock. I decided to let the cat off the leash to frolic a little and sniff around to see if there were any fish remnants