Finished Folds (2821—2840)
-
3that there are two paths you can go by. They further discovered that in the long run there's still time to change the road you're on. Chuck Panozzo turned to Robert Plant who
-
3at his zipper in a furious frenzy to make post-Home Shopping Network love. After that episode their credit card bills escalated rapidly. The extra storage unit they'd rented to
-
2*hic* I damn well please *hiccup*. Dumbo's middle-aged beer belly jiggled as he stumbled to a leaning rest against a shady oak. Besides *hic* those crows aint done bout seen nothin
-
4came out swinging something much more phallic, which did in point of fact, turn out to be a phallus. The ensuing swordfight in the driveway was neither elegant nor expedient. I won
-
4were mistaken for an ancient Korean courting ceremony. The restaurant owner was so impressed he performed a marriage ceremony on the spot. The subliminal voice
-
5I am an invisible man. Though invisibility doesn't beget clairvoyance, I'm sure you're thinking that I must have used this power in all manner of sexual deviance and criminality.
-
1I could tell it was kill or be killed so I said "Listen up tots, there's gonna be no crying, no fighting, no whining, and I don't do poop. If you need a bottle, too bad." One baby
-
2with both hands. I grumbled along with the other guests but in reality I was in hog heaven. I was just polishing off my second pork rind - Cheez Whiz sandwich when an old
-
6the mornin, harmonica in the evenin, fiddle at suppertime. By the time I went to bed each day I was about ready to
-
4I awoke and was immediately uneasy. I wasn't hungover but I had no idea where I was, except that it was a pretty common hotel room layout. I was fully clothed and upon getting up
-
6My criminal career came to a quick end after screaming Coo Coo CaChoo! at the butcher who promptly landed a cleaver 'tween my walrushish eyebrows. The EggMan is still at large...
-
6small children to the point where Joe couldn't get any of the special fun time that Stacy had promised him in order to get married. To make matters worse, the McDonald's janitor
-
4had firebombed the only local reputable dentist. I had heard horror stories of cavity searches taking excruciatingly long at Dr. Payne's office so I consigned myself to make
-
2clean back there so it's not too much of an inconvenience. Social skills aside, I soon found myself ingratiated with the local government representatives and thought I might be on
-
5glutens and denatured soy isolate. Kinda bland until you roll 'em in some tabasco or whatnot. My gut
-
3exchange for regular tongue baths. An unexpected result of this somewhat unsavory arrangement was that the fat lazy man-baby coughed up a huge hairball right when the wasp was
-
8failed strategies for completing the Oregon Trail. Each ended with the inevitable: YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTERY.
-
2hem of her frock. She looked down at it and he followed her eyes. She saw him register the offense but he began to walk away so she tripped the barrista who then stumbled into
-
3down at the local YMCA where there's a fantastic cracker buffet on First Fridays. Buoyed by my second-hand parrot's regurgitated advice, I summoned the fortitude to
-
4the space between planets; a void waiting to be filled. I tried to back out of this strange nothing world but the more I turned or moved, the dizzier I became so