Finished Folds (2861—2880)
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3and fell into a deep hatred of myself and by extension all of mankind. So I decided to open a lawn care business that only operated from 0600 to 0900 on weekends. My Bastillemates
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4give him a cigar and child support contract quicker than you can say 'cheating whore'!" Her mouth fell open as Jim proceeded to
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4It appears to be one of the Fly Girls from In Living Color! Neo flew over to her and poured her some game with his pimpin as a chaser. 9 months later, the Second One was born, who
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4to leave without your surprise?" It wasn't a question. They tightened their circle so the other patrons couldn't see, began to sing Happy Birthday and force-shovel the mud pie down
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4The agent opened his file. "The final infraction appears to have been sitting down to pee at the Applebee's on Market St. February 12th, approximately 8pm." Mr. Johnson's man card
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5bowtie. "Look," he said "the invite says black tie, and my bowtie is black. If your stuffy ass friends don't like my inner tube they can go
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4his estranged and long deceased father through a seance going on in the pit. By the time the Terminator located the Godfather of Funk, the Great-Godfather of Funk had
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7a conglomeration of scientists and hieroglyphic experts dedicated to deciphering messages. However, the head scientist was double-crossing the Executive Board so he claimed that
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5They can flex their smut muscle on their own time. For now these kids
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6DJ's yelling ReeeeMiiix!!! I'll be damned if O didn't get stupid crunk on the dance floor. Jiggy I tell ya. Good TV, just real real good.
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5"And as you can see" she continued "in any right triangle, the area of the square whose side is the hypotenuse..." Mmm hmmm. I nodded. Breasts. Big luscious juggy breasts. Ta Tas.
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0Sticks and stones may break my bones but slow and safe is better than sorry. What?
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6My heart skipped a beat when the lab called back to say there was a problem with my sample. When I went in, they said my blood showed traces of Immaculance and they wanted
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3stinking vat of sycophantic narcissism that only served to poison his already questionable soul. By the time the news of the cancer
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2of pendejos?" "Uhh, Si! Si, El Guapo! You have a plethora." El Guapo scratched himself and squinted at the sun. Then he said "Tell me Juan, do you even know
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4dim-witted accountant from down the hall sealed his fate. He challenged me in front of Shelly, who I'd been trying to nail for weeks. I grabbed the ball and charged at Lenny
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2, made the sign of the cross, and crawled in. Two stories below, the head spook sniffed. She must have had the nose of a Doberman because she somehow could smell us through the air
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6I passed the slightly undercooked squirrel-on-a-stick to my daughter's vegan boyfriend. Now we'd really see how bad he wanted to marry Trixie. He was about to bite down when the
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7out instantly. "Combobulated" I replied. The bartender frowned and cocked his head. I was SO thirsty. Sighing, I said "Just pour everything into that ice bucket, then rotate
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8And with that, he stormed out of the shop, weeping furiously. He pouted, and whipped out his Jar of Tears and made a large deposit. The Oak Tree of Tears would need watering