Finished Folds (701—720)
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6All this fun had worked up a powerful appetite so Aloysius headed back home. He could always count on a nice hot batch of Mama Childs lava-cooked grits. He followed the brimstone
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3Splash! Drip drip drip. Squish plop. Squish plop. Shhhhhluuuurp. Squish plop. Squish plop. Shhhhhluuuurp. Heavy breathing.
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5in jail again. Ten nine nobody's fault but mine. Eight seven please call the reverend. Six five I don't deserve to be alive. Four three tell Mom I'm sorry. Two one goodbye son.
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7ing fast, sails unfurled, riding a strong northwestern wind into the bay. The child grinned and ran to tell the town. "Gareth is back! They're back!" he yelled. The villagers gathe
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7I magically turned my 12-lb feline frame into 40 lbs of dead weight. Letting my purrbox hum, I smashed the side of my head into her romance novel. She pretended not to enjoy it, bu
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2For dinner tonight, I'll start with a single pea. It will be buttered and slipped into the center of a scallop, which will then replace the yolk in a hard-boiled egg. The egg will
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4hed away the last minuscule vestige of humanity. Storm troopers began randomly kicking audience members in the balls while dancing midgets filled balloons with confectioners sugar
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6nothing. We thought we had left something behind but that something had become wonked. In our spaceship other wonkified objects began malfunctioning. We careened into a polar vorte
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5because there was only one dash of hot sauce left. They both wanted it; needed it. A taco without hot sauce is a fistfight waiting to happen. They struggled over the bottle, knock
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5The word for today is burrito. Burrito burrito burrito. Chili verde burrito. Bean and cheese burrito. Dorito machito burrito grande por favor. Carne asada burrito. Burrito? Si.
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6it was conclusively demonstrated via silicone-dating that the first folds predate the first writers by at least a century. "How could it be so?" you might ask. Well, if we are in f
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7moosegasm that lasted a full 30 minutes. "Fred, just come inside. You're knackerred again and besides, that's a pig you're thinking of." Fred looked askance at the deer head on the
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5The Captain looked down and He read. And He saw that some of it was crap. And He saw that some of it was good. And He said "Keep trying. You're amusing me".
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8And that's when she really blew her lid. "You shitsipping sonofabitch! I told you about the operation three times! You just grunted." "Oh, huh. Wow. Was it during the playoffs?"
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8And yea but the peasants did drinketh, And whoa but the kings did summon forth the cannons for the overture, And aye the maidens swung their skirts around and around and around
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4understood. All too well. Last year my rocket launcher, "Blastromanoff" had succomed to rust. "Look, vy don't chew pop off a few rounds vith Roderich here, vial I refill our wodkas
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6I felt myself shat. Gets me every time. I looked down and sure enough, Farmer Bob was cursing a blue streak, bird shat all down his best overalls. He grabbed a shotgun and leveled
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3her cats again that night. Another time she suggested she and her blind date go dancing. They were flash-mobbed by a group of naked pregnant ladies and her date disappeared. Eventu
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3My life is basically like Boogie Nights meets Blow. Throw in some Scarface and a dash of Mrs. Doubtfire and you'd have it nailed. Most people call me Ricky, but you can call me Bob
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10The sky was on fire. Not in a beautiful, metaphorical, take a picture with your phone sense. In a ohmygodeverythingsgoingtodie sense. I pushed my way into the cave, screaming for