Finished Folds (701—720)
-
4hed away the last minuscule vestige of humanity. Storm troopers began randomly kicking audience members in the balls while dancing midgets filled balloons with confectioners sugar
-
6nothing. We thought we had left something behind but that something had become wonked. In our spaceship other wonkified objects began malfunctioning. We careened into a polar vorte
-
5because there was only one dash of hot sauce left. They both wanted it; needed it. A taco without hot sauce is a fistfight waiting to happen. They struggled over the bottle, knock
-
5The word for today is burrito. Burrito burrito burrito. Chili verde burrito. Bean and cheese burrito. Dorito machito burrito grande por favor. Carne asada burrito. Burrito? Si.
-
6it was conclusively demonstrated via silicone-dating that the first folds predate the first writers by at least a century. "How could it be so?" you might ask. Well, if we are in f
-
7moosegasm that lasted a full 30 minutes. "Fred, just come inside. You're knackerred again and besides, that's a pig you're thinking of." Fred looked askance at the deer head on the
-
5The Captain looked down and He read. And He saw that some of it was crap. And He saw that some of it was good. And He said "Keep trying. You're amusing me".
-
8And that's when she really blew her lid. "You shitsipping sonofabitch! I told you about the operation three times! You just grunted." "Oh, huh. Wow. Was it during the playoffs?"
-
8And yea but the peasants did drinketh, And whoa but the kings did summon forth the cannons for the overture, And aye the maidens swung their skirts around and around and around
-
4understood. All too well. Last year my rocket launcher, "Blastromanoff" had succomed to rust. "Look, vy don't chew pop off a few rounds vith Roderich here, vial I refill our wodkas
-
6I felt myself shat. Gets me every time. I looked down and sure enough, Farmer Bob was cursing a blue streak, bird shat all down his best overalls. He grabbed a shotgun and leveled
-
3her cats again that night. Another time she suggested she and her blind date go dancing. They were flash-mobbed by a group of naked pregnant ladies and her date disappeared. Eventu
-
3My life is basically like Boogie Nights meets Blow. Throw in some Scarface and a dash of Mrs. Doubtfire and you'd have it nailed. Most people call me Ricky, but you can call me Bob
-
10The sky was on fire. Not in a beautiful, metaphorical, take a picture with your phone sense. In a ohmygodeverythingsgoingtodie sense. I pushed my way into the cave, screaming for
-
7The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. Most of the newbies were on deck feeding the fishes while one-eye and I peeled potatoes
-
3share a shrimp sandwich with Josh from work. Wow, where did that come from? So random. Almost *too* random. Hmm, I ran up to the POTUS and yelled "Code Red! Code Red! The
-
8So I hatched a devious scheme, waited for the perfect opportunity and executed said plan to perfection. I am now enlightened from encumbrances. The rest, as they say, is his story.
-
6enigma is what she was. A veritable chatterbox with moods like the winds of Saturn. A bona fide threat to poker night. Still" continued Bobert "this 'woman' requires further attent
-
3Nope; they'd just kind of drifted apart and he was busy with his day-to-day life. Her mother on the other hand was omnipresent. At least it seemed that way. When she got up, there
-
4half his stack was gone. With a dry swallow, he flipped the second coin. Tails again; the remainder of his savings whisked away by the croupier. He stood up, shell-shocked, and