Finished Folds (681—700)
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5Having found two quarters and a nickel back in '07, I could never break the habit of checking the coin return on pay phones. I pushed the door open with my index finger and felt
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4. We needed to reverse this path or suffer permanent olfactory damage. I started singing a song about a field of blooming wildflowers and the air became subtly sweeter. I painted a
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5"Now now, how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" I didn't know quite what that meant, but with a yell of "Left hand! Red!" I succumbed; terminally twisted.
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9ply him with Irish car bombs and Sex on the beach until he was loose enough to take a full shot of bioluminescent phytoplankton. Slipowski pounded it, then stumbled out the trailer
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7shape up, shave bush, and drop trou. Roseanne became the hottest slab of meat on the dancing stage at Larry's Villa. Wouldn't Tom be crazy when he found out! Insanely jealous, no d
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5were celebrating an unusually large take-home from their latest debacle. You see, Charles had convinced the VP of Westchestshire Unlimited that sequins were back 'in'. Drinks had
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6Listen, you've all heard the term slack-jawed yokel before. Y'know, a country bumpkin? A rambling rutabaga? Cauliflower cousin? A crossroads vanilla bean? Well it's neither here no
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4raw backstrap hung around the lean-to, maggots worming their way across the sinew. A knife drew slowly acro" "Cough... um, sorry ... is this Econ 100?" The teacher screamed "Get ou
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4Well, what did you think would happen if you just took a bunch of strangers and let them write whatever they want to each other. All willy nilly with no direction or consequences?
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7threaten the rest of the staff and force them into switching shifts with him. Moe never pulled data entry again. No, he was always out in the choice field locations, his stink palm
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3s wart was removed on 8 separate occasions, I had what amounted to a shallow second vagina on my upper thigh. A deal was brokered. Soon the man with 2 penises and I knew each other
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4highlighting his Professional Bull Rider certificate. It was a Perfectly Beautiful Reward for all his hard work. God but he was thirsty. Parched Beyond Recovery. He needed a
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3In Alt Univ 14Y gangsta rocker Ice Trey waxed poetic about genitalia to crashing violins. The creator bobbed her head, then shook it and said "No. This just isn't hitting. What's
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7came again. They were unpredictable, but if you looked long enough, eventually you'd see them. You think I was imagining it? Those eyes in the dark? Come with me. I'm going back
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7show me his quarter pounder. In turn, I unwrapped my soft taco. It was a spicy lunch and we washed it down with an ice-cold moral turpitude. Fully sated, Ray and I
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4n't be so friendly. All bets were off. Geneva convention be damned. You'd step into your stall and BOOM Charlie'd be there with a cold water balloon. But we had a surprise for the
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9gravy off his khakis. They were his lucky pants after all. After clean up, Dennis and Kim limped back to the shuttle stop. The tour had not gone as hoped. Dennis's proposal plan
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2a brilliant but deranged and psychopathic scientist hellbent on world domination controlling it? Her experiment thus far was a success. Next, she'd direct the mutant monkey to fill
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5Not that you really need any more talking points with a nose shaped exactly like a penis. I mean, c'mon. What else is there to talk about? You've got a phalluschnoz and you should
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5paved the slippery slope to gum chewing and flatulence denial. Well, not on my watch. I was put on this rock to save souls and the topless rollerskaters needed my intervention.