Finished Folds (1361—1380)
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1On the Importance of Commas in the English Language: Man bacon is so good. I need to eat poop and shower before work. But this toilet's only for elderly disabled pregnant children.
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2flight patterns of removed and discarded stripper clothing. Does it matter if I'm wasted or not? Do blondes differ from brunettes? My initial examination of real vs. fake breasts
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4nia artichoke and choke it heartily over the bucket of rancid goo. Now your marinade is ready. Dunk your carcass of choice into the goo bucket 3 times. Not 2, not 4, but 3 times.
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4what to do I demanded that the seraph let me into my apartment. It proclaimed "This dwelling is now an earthly enclave of heaven. Only eunuchs may enter. You may borrow my gelding
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3fast as he could directly at the main Serene Hills Retirement Facility plate glass window. Gen crashed through it, somersaulted on the grass and was free! He whipped out a fad wad
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3scythes menacingly. I whipped out my phone for a quick Facebook update: Brilliant sunshine! About to meet up with some locals. Dying for a cold one! The four horsemen surrounded me
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3back on this moment often as the highlight of his life. He spent several summers trying to recreate the magic with KISS cover bands behind the Mega LoMart in Barstow. Emilio ended
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1it like to be in the presence of someone so devastatingly charming?" Leanne didn't say a word. She calmly took off her panties and stuck them in my 7 & 7. My wife glanced up at Lea
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4l of records of failed experiments. God had designated mankind a Species of Special Concern. He'd charged me with analyzing the data he'd compiled on man's population viability.
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2breathed. Judge Judy seethed. She gave Bailiff Byrd The Look and he turned to stone. She stood up and shouted "Who here is fit to pull the Wooden Spoon of Justice from the rock?"
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5'bout my squashed apples?!" A large sauce pan bounced off Bob's head and he fell face first into the huge pot. Sensing an opportunity, the apples grabbed hold of Bob's hair and pul
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6through messages on his iPhone. "Yes, that's been going around. And how would you describe your relationship with your mother?" I heard a bleep bloop from Dr. Klumpf's phone. "Are
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4; it was fraught with overbearing metaphors, riddled with cliches and had what appeared to be marijuana resin smeared on it. 'Well, it's not a total loss' I thought, rolling it up
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6a gorilla, fart like a dragonfly; that's what me pappy always used ta say. I think it meant something akin to 'walk softly and carry a big stick' but we're getting off topic again.
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6do better than that" he said. "No, you'll be having two chicken breasts, with tomatoes, extra ketchup, and apple pies for buns. Here have some more ketchup." And the McD clerk squi
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3Looking back, I'm confident that the entire situation could have been averted if not for the simple phrase "What can I do you for?"
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3the most productive he'd been all month. He'd finished his taxes, sleepjogged 5 miles, cleaned the kitchen & called his mother. He'd had a sleep epiphany. Fernando was prepared
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5be good to each other. Thrive." That was all I needed to hear. When we landed I emailed my resignation letter, instructed my financial adviser to cash me out and moved to Mexico.
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2cheating at Liar's Dice. 'That's the point!' I tried to tell him. But Louis was adamant that he and Jimmy were sewer scum that needed a good vaporizing. The jukebox blared
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4that allowed him to time travel but the catch was that every time he used it, it cost him a year off his life. He never knew if the next jam he got into would be his last. It was