Finished Folds (221—240)
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3sack replied. "It's not kidnapping if you're over 90 years old," I reminded him, "now can we do this the easy way, or the hard way?" I retrieved the jumper cables from my backpack.
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0, though I didn't find it incredibly funny. I looked the elf over - one hand held a fireball, and the other...my nuts. Putting two and two together wasn't too difficult. Suddenly,
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3It was a sick life of metaphors I lived, like a mad cow patty in a prison cafeteria. Somewhere in the distance someone said "that's a simile!", but I didn't care. I was in a coffin
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1As if some proverbial lord had heard his cry, he soon found himself in a new venue. "Maybe I should've been more specific." he thought to himself, now stuck waist-deep in a pile of
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2sticks and stones, which in their ordinary forms were no big deal, but combined could create a rather potent weapon- apparently able to break bones. This frightened the beautician,
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2"That's ridiculous!" I shouted, "This isn't a fucking game of Candy Land, now where's my money?!" The Leprechaun didn't appreciate my tone, and soon we
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5The coughing grated on my throat like fingernails on a chalkboard. The only things that relieved the pain were Oxycontin and more cigarettes, a combination that proved fatal when I
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7something that few men could only dream - a symphony of fiddler crabs playing Beethoven's 5th! "What a strange occurrence," I thought to myself, surely this has nothing to do with
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7He had been suspicious for quite some time, what with the wooden appearance and the strings,- but after his nose grew three inches, Michael Jackson was sure this was no real boy.
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4- it truly was a gruesome film. Not that I minded, the more children's hind ends that were introduced to the Giant Cheese Grater of Bal'Atorish, the closer Alice moved to me.
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1Sheila was never the brightest. They told her she couldn't pour piss out of a boot if they wrote directions on a heel - she didn't get it, of course. But one day Dr. Milo Krazinski
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4"That makes no fucking sense, it can't be both." I muttered to Howie from across the desk space, "I can tell already A Tale of Two Cities is going to suck brass ones."
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3Alex Trebeck, long time game show host and sex icon for nursing homes everywhere! Only on the blue moon will his corgi defense powers falter, however, providing just enough time to
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3I GET THE URGE TO MURDER THE PRESIDENT WHEN I HEAR THE PHRASE, "
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4Said the sign on the door. At the time I had no clue what it meant, and even now I can only guess, but as a male prostitute on the run from the Illuminati, I had little choice but
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2"Internet porn?" she screamed indignantly, acting as if it wasn't a part of every male teen's life. "That's trash, and I don't want to see any more of it in my house!"
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4It was a mundane life like mine that drove the average man crazy. Ice cream without toppings was nothing more than another knife stabbing my psyche- now all I needed was a twist.
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2Maybe we went about this whole situation wrong, hell - maybe everybody did. All I know is I've never connected with another human emotionally like i did with that hamster.
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2quickly over the pale skin of the underage prostitute - she would do anything for a job, even pose as a thanksgiving dinner for a hefty Republican Senator. "Turducken!" He said,
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1That's when Charles Xavier appeared on the scene. Option two was all I had left. Lifting my gun in a well-practiced shooter's stance, I took careful aim...and pulled the trigger.