Finished Folds (261—280)
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5Of course, I told myself the live rattlesnake hiding in my trousers six years ago was 'all in my head' too, and we all know how that turned out. Tired, hungry, and deserted, I
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2enter it into all sorts of Cat Fancy sponsored fashion shows? She was the mockery of her book club, who would consider it a hobby to dress up a cat like a
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7was probably being belittled by an army of 3-foot neuroscientists. Sure, it didn't seem as bad as a slow, painful death, but you didn't live the childhood Dwayne did.
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0a simple twist of his thumb and forefinger. As strange as it was, it was a rather dramatic thing to see, and struck fear in the eyes of the corporate pigs. He shouted, "My name's
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3Looking at the terrible predicament I had gotten myself in, I was rather disappointed that I hadn't purchased that
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0It was at this point where my lisp got the better of me - jeers from my peers brought tears to my eyes, their leer trapping me like a deer in headlights. I had no choice but to
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4One day, however, one of the homeless decided that he wouldn't take my insults gratefully, and launched a licked-dry can in my general direction.
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5made of the finest mahogany, I was surprised at how fine the craftsmanship was. Unfortunately, my pants were still down, and everyone in the establishment had a full view of my
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5a nearby lamprey, sucking out the intestines like the Ancient Hindi Tribes of the far east would. This was rather disconcerting - Zimmern's show grossed me out enough on the TV,
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1I was intervened by yet another scantily clad wench looking for a ride on my disco stick. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood, and I was hoping to get to talk to Stan, so I
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4the Black Market next door - if I were going to eat the pie I wouldn't sacrifice quality for price, but all I wanted was to see Jerry plastered to a fender.
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8, and hopped in - the sound of indignant squawking at my back. I'd take lemmings over pelicans any day, today included as I headed to their shindig. They were the religious sort,
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5fill it with as much Laughing Gas my clown salary could allow. I'll show them who's clowning around, next time they take a ride in my car I'LL be the one getting the last laugh!
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1On the tip was a small monkey wobbling back and forth, clashing cymbals with mechanically precise timing. "How will this help the beeding?!" I shouted at the swan.
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2However, he failed to make note of the wooden beams used to keep the roof held together, and his metallic head connected with at least 7 of them in his leap.
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2"salmon fillet. It was gross enough the first time going in", I thought to myself, and watching the dog slop it up wasn't doing much for my appetite. My wife and I decided to
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4Soon afterwards the doctors diagnosed me with a severe case of tourettes, and placed me in a dark padded room so that I couldn't choke innocent nuns anymore.
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5I suppose this is going to get slightly more dramatic, isn't it?" as if on cue, thirty-seven pounds of .308 rounds flew out of his well-worn bum, with such force that they
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3with us running dramatically towards the sunset, knowing that if we moved quickly enough we could catch the sneaky bugger before it ran off to hide behind the horizon once more.
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4"but not as much as a machete jammed into your cornea." I thought to myself that it was up for debate, but in fear of a trial, I decided not to voice my opinion. Love and I never