Finished Folds (2061—2080)
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3was held in her basement. She invited the neighborhood housewives to her Tupperware party for total world domination. All would be hers, if she kept a lid on it.
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8"it's my powerpoint presentation for the answers to life. Next bullet point please. As you can see God is.. Oh dear..." The Blue Screen of Death covered the IMAX wall. People left
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4Meanwhile, Skywalker slapped Han Solo in the back of the head, "You packed me in a stinking tauntaun? Did you think I might have hand warmers? Jeez..." Solo wished he was back with
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3she did her belly-dancing routine at the last supper. It always wowed the crowds but Jesus and his entourage just weren't into it. "Bunch of wet blankets." She thought.
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3He peaked his nose through the bamboo venetian blinds. The guy who had been following him waited at the street lamp. He heard a knock and turned. He got the worst nostril splinter.
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2a larger rubber-band. With funding cuts, NASA relied on mechanical propulsion delivery systems. He tried to explain the torque on a propeller at high Gs but it fell on deaf ears.
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0I awoke bolt upright. After last night's bender, I thought I would wake up in my bed (or someone else's.) Instead, I was in front of my laptop, my hands pressed to the keyboard.
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6protect the live stock. It was only when Olaf brought his dog's squeak squirrel did we realize that the were-wolves had the behavior of overgrown puppies. Next night, we brought
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4did a salsa rendition of "A Lovely Holiday with Mary" seranading J-Lo in an English Garden. It was Disney's attempt to reach the Latino market with their early films. Dumbo was
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5....'If you wish to reach the main menu press 1'.... I HAVE A VINTAGE ROTARY PHONE HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PRESS 1! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" I slammed down the reciever.
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6I saw the Auditor. He approached me with a clipboard. "It says here that you are a 'Level One Tormented Spirit, Lost.' Is this your first reincarnation? yes/no?" I could only wail.
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61. I resolve to put all of my ill-gotten gains into a rucksack with a big dollar sign on the side. Thereby, when I feel the urge to spend my loot I will feel a slight pang of guilt
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6. So, you see, this movie will use metaphors as actual characters. Angelina Jolie will be the Ennui of waiting for the bus. Halloween: Tom Cruise. Eddie Izzard: Hollywood.
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9Jacque Cousteau once used explosives to census fish I don't see why razing a couple of rain forests would be such a problem. Call my agent.
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6But it was too late. "Joe! imagine seeing you here at the Contact Bridge Championships! How long has it been? Where's your partner?" "Under the rose bushes." he thought to himself.
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6complete jerks like me and welcomed me into their fold. The MFA degree apeared to be an in-depth study of the arts, but was really a primer on picking up babes in museums. Our 1st
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3like Chilean miners had been in it for weeks. I took my shoe and swooned under the weight of the hangover. Someone had attached a red string to the lace. It led to the kitchen.
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7..,AHHHH-CHOOO!!" With a mucus explosion the old sawbones went flying out the window. I hastly rummaged through the cotton gauze and tounge depressors. No antibiotics anywhere.
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7Jimmer-dimmer Habby-Babby Cheddareater Smith hated his name, so he changed it to Jimmer-dimmer Habby-Babby Cheddareater Jones.
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2...You two timing jerk!" My girlfriend pushed me out of the futon. "wha-?" I groaned. "In my dream, you were smooching Jolie in a pink tutu!" "But It's just a..." "Then explain