Finished Folds (2421—2440)
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6I have a mansion, sports car, pool, cashmere sweater, and gold watch. I am living the virtual dream. Outside of my social media game, I have a cardboard box and ramen.
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5thinking? Her training regimen would require more support. She grabbed some duct tape and wrapped it tightly around her torso five times. "There, ready for jogging." And out she
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5I stuff my pipe full of ol' sea salt tobacco and blow toxic clouds in the faces of my companions. I gives thems a wink and smile as they curse and fume. It was all in fun until my
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6I stumbled into the Starbucks. Where is my fix? I leap over the counter and grab the collar of the barista with my hummingbird hands. My teeth chattered, "CAFFE MISTO STAT!"
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6had dropped from her sandwich. I also saw a man with black dog pass my bench every 40 minutes. A guy reading the Times sat next to me every half hour. The park was in a time loop.
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3was the fallout shelter for Jimmy Carter. It hadn't been remodeled since the 70s so it had a groovy zebra print and some 8-tracks. Also in Teddy's nose at Mt. Rushmore, was a silo
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3. Eventually they all became one big blackhole. The end of everything. God looked down disappointed. Didn't even make the high score. He put in another quarter and hit the plunger.
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1I told the Army Core of Engineers that in order to get America on the right track, we had to put coastlines in every state. I wanted to see literally Surfing USA.
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3Some thought it was a new Aqua Circus Soleil. The Big Top jellyfish camoflage enticed crowds from cruise ships into its carnival of tentacles.
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6he had no interest in looking up "lumpen proletariat" in the dictionary. All his knowlege he gleaned off of YouTube videos. Somone had to put the hand inside his puppet head.
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8bucks decided to take matters into their own hands and start a riot. The New York Post headlined "HOT CROSS BUNNIES TAKE DOWN WALLSTREET." Police were helpless; they were too cute
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6I coughed momentarily to disguise my amusement. Why wasn't anyone else laughing at Hamlet? The play hilarious! I must go back stage and thank Willy for the yuks. I folded my fan.
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5. It was too much work, sure I was Lord of all Rats, but who could I talk too? Most topics involved cheese, trash and fear of cats. Plans for World Domination were held back.
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5I switched the channel from the "Everyone Poops Nature Show" to "Let's Look in My Neighbor's House." This week the host was trapped in the basement with a rottweiler. The camera
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2She woke up in the boot of a 2009 Prius. Thinking deeply, she did conclude that she forgot to lock the front door. People could steal her stuff! She had to do something. Kicking,
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7garbled "Hizeee, Honzeee I'mmz Hoommeee..." I leaped onto the top of the coach to avoid the electrofied water. Robodad sparked as the ceiling caught fire. "Wararr, mize slipprz?"
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4unfathomable songs to the blind god azothoth that sits in the center of all infinity. I tried to switch from Lovecraftian imagery to Dick and Jane, but it went pear-shaped.
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5All his life he wanted to be known as "Dave," way cooler than "David." It could be worse, he knew some loser who went by "Chaz." What a nimrod! Chuck was so much better.
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2He trained his body to swim in other viscous liquids. Vaseline was the hardest. Shaving his body to prevent sticking, he was now ready for the Olympic Treacle Freestyle.
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4he shook across the floor before going to bed. The next morning, he looked down at the talcum powder. Sure enough, he was sleepwalking, but why did his footprints have claws?